(written on Wednesday night)
I am actually sitting down for the first time since Monday afternoon without a little one clingy to me with a death grip so I am able to update this much.
Monday morning we woke up at 3am again but we were able to fall back asleep for a little bit. When we finally woke again, Denny asked me, "so are you ready for this?" I laughed and said as ready as we will ever be for such an unknown. As Denny reminded us of several verses we agreed the Lord is who brought us to this point and we know He will see us through it. We then we started to get ready for the day. Well, someone else was already up and ready....and had closed our bedroom door so she wouldn't wake us. (We have a 1 bedroom suite and Emma is sleeping on the little couch in the "living room".) Emma had decorated the "living room" where Gracie's crib is with balloons, drawings, window clings and all of her toys out and organized.
I am actually sitting down for the first time since Monday afternoon without a little one clingy to me with a death grip so I am able to update this much.
Monday morning we woke up at 3am again but we were able to fall back asleep for a little bit. When we finally woke again, Denny asked me, "so are you ready for this?" I laughed and said as ready as we will ever be for such an unknown. As Denny reminded us of several verses we agreed the Lord is who brought us to this point and we know He will see us through it. We then we started to get ready for the day. Well, someone else was already up and ready....and had closed our bedroom door so she wouldn't wake us. (We have a 1 bedroom suite and Emma is sleeping on the little couch in the "living room".) Emma had decorated the "living room" where Gracie's crib is with balloons, drawings, window clings and all of her toys out and organized.
To say she was excited is an understatement. She talked and giggled all morning. We went to breakfast at the hotel and waited to meet our guide in the lobby at 9:30am...oh how the time moved sooooo slowly. There was another family with Holt who rode in the van with us to the Civil Affairs office where the children were brought to. Their 2-year old daughter is also being adopted from Gracie's orphanage! I hadn't found them on the Facebook groups so it was so exciting to meet another family who would also be with us for the next 2 weeks and their daughter knows our daughter. We nervously chatted as we rode to the office. Once we pulled into the gate outside of the office I told Denny I might just throw up! When we pulled up, there was another van in front of us that was unloading several kids with their nannies. Our guide told us to look quickly and see if any of them were our children so we could quickly get a picture. They were not ours. We unloaded and walked into the office where a couple of little kids were sitting down with their nannies and a few other little ones were screaming as their nannies walked them around. We were able to watch a few families meet their children for the first time and we also were able to take photos for these families as they were meeting them. The tears started flowing watching these families come together... it was such a special moment ...a few children went to their new parents screaming and a few went to them with no tears. I kept looking out the window for the next van of children. One family who was there had their 3 year old daughter with them who they had adopted from here 2 years ago. They were adopting a 2 year old little boy on this day and he went to his Mama and Baba with smiles and wide eyes. Their daughter wasn't so happy. Even though she had been thoroughly prepared these last 5 months, it's hard to prepare for the real thing when the real thing can be so unknown. (Two days later the little girl has settled right in to being the big sis :) And then we saw THE VAN....the one with our little girls in it. Us and the other family went right to the window waiting to get the first glimpse of them in person.
Denny then took off to the front door of the building because he had the video camera. The other family's little girl was brought out of the van first and then I saw her. Let me back up...I had been nervous for months that I would not recognize Gracie. From the different pictures we have received of her, especially from the ones of this summer and the December update, I had wondered if she was the same child, but knew she was because of her hands. I thought I wouldn't recognize her face when I saw her for the first time. Well, let me just tell you....a mama knows her baby! I knew instantly when I saw her face she was ours. From outside a window in the arms of another woman, bundled up in a yellow puffy hooded jacket...I knew that was our Gracie.
I watched the lady carry her into the building and for a few seconds I waited while she was brought in the front door. I was, of course, standing at the front door of the office as she entered the room. She had very wide eyes and looked all around. Our guide, Denise, told the woman I was her Mama. The woman, come to find out, is actually the director of her orphanage. The director carried Gracie from the van and handed her to me. As Gracie was leaving her arms she whimpered and I could tell she was very nervous. The director smiled at me and passed her to my arms. I can't explain the feeling that came over me...I could tell this woman cared for Gracie and I didn't want her to be scared but I wanted her in my arms.
All I could see of her was her hair, eyes and nose...the rest of her was covered in her yellow puffy jacket. I don't remember what happened next but thankfully Denny has it on video and I can't wait to watch it :)
I remember Emma was by my side looking at her and smiling and Gracie just stayed wide-eyed. We eventually went into the next room and had our picture taken for something official. Denny held her for awhile and passed her back to me. Even though it was just 2 days ago, so much of this day is a blur. Us and the other Holt family and their new little girl got back into the van and our guide asked us if we would like to go to the store now or later for supplies. We all agreed now since the little ones were doing well (not screaming) so off we all went to a Chinese-like Wal-mart. This was so bizarre and so normal all at the same time. We rode on this flat escalator up one flight WITH our buggies and off shopping we went.
We needed diapers (we had to take a lot out of our luggage in order for it to meet the weight limit) and both families ended up buying an umbrella stroller. We also got some apple juice, candy and a few other snacks. It was pretty funny trying to find out how the strollers we both picked out folded down flat. Not like they do at home...and of course the instructions were in Mandarin. Gracie was still in my arms and was very observant....looking everything over with big eyes. I was even able to put her down for a bit in the store and watch her take a few steps. I could tell she had on several layers of clothes including a thick wool sweater, and don't forget her yellow puffy jacket :)...and was sweating....as was I carrying her. Emma had fun looking around in the store and actually found this certain candy that was a part of this thing we did back in the fall where we followed the schedule of a "nanny for a day". The candy was included in our packet of stuff as a treat the nannies will give the children at times to get them to stop crying.
After the store we headed back to the hotel. When we were all piling out of the van in front of the hotel, there were 5 or 6 men standing where we were unloading. They were all talking and noticing all of us and then got really close to me and started pointing at Gracie's hands and speaking loudly in mandarin and kind of in our face about it. One of the men then noticed the band around her leg and pointed repeatedly at it. This only lasted for maybe 7 seconds but is a very vivid picture in my mind. I wanted to instantly smack their fingers and hands away and tell them to get away. As I type this it brings tears to my eyes, but not for why you might think. I am so thankful for this moment. When I think of this, I see how God has given me an immediate Mama Bear instinct for this little one...who just hours ago I had never met in person. It blows my mind how I can so fiercely love this little girl...our daughter...all praise goes to Him.
It is our loving God who provides what we need, when He decides we need it. Thank you Jesus for this great gift of Gracie.
After the store we headed back to the hotel. When we were all piling out of the van in front of the hotel, there were 5 or 6 men standing where we were unloading. They were all talking and noticing all of us and then got really close to me and started pointing at Gracie's hands and speaking loudly in mandarin and kind of in our face about it. One of the men then noticed the band around her leg and pointed repeatedly at it. This only lasted for maybe 7 seconds but is a very vivid picture in my mind. I wanted to instantly smack their fingers and hands away and tell them to get away. As I type this it brings tears to my eyes, but not for why you might think. I am so thankful for this moment. When I think of this, I see how God has given me an immediate Mama Bear instinct for this little one...who just hours ago I had never met in person. It blows my mind how I can so fiercely love this little girl...our daughter...all praise goes to Him.
It is our loving God who provides what we need, when He decides we need it. Thank you Jesus for this great gift of Gracie.